Oh, to live in the comfy-cozy world of Am I OK?, where apartments are spacious and ever-stylish, money problems are but an abstract concept and everyone you meet is just unfathomably attractive. The film’s soothing colors and unhurried pace are like falling into a comically soft mattress, its warm embrace shielding you from all the stress and problems waiting beyond the film’s inevitable happy ending. First time directing-duo and real-life couple Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne create the kind of lush fantasy that would be easy to mock if it wasn’t so pleasant to get lost in. A superficial safe space, just self-aware enough to not come off as ignorant. But Lucy (Dakota Johnson) is so trapped in her all too guarded comfort zone it’s threatening to suffocate her; the film’s dreamy take on Los Angeles proving still too scarily unfamiliar for her to venture a step outside her mundane routine.
It really doesn’t help her anxiety then that she, not long after doing a reflexive somersault off her bed to escape the advances of a male friend, starts to question her sexuality. Maybe she wasn’t the problem, but the gender of her partners was? Jane (Sonoya Mizuno), Lucy’s extroverted best friend since childhood, is as supportive as can be and pushes her to explore what lies beyond the boundaries of her guarded little horizon. But it proves difficult to help someone whose first instinct in every unfamiliar situation is to retreat and avoid risk at all cost. It’s a fine line between being encouraging and pushy.
During the big fight Lucy and Jane have at the film’s midpoint, the dialog isn’t shy to hammer home that dilemma. Their asymmetrical friendship gets broken down in a surprisingly confrontational and to-the-point manner. There’s some genuine human soul-searching Am I OK? occasionally lets shine through – but for most of its breezy runtime, it dabbles in the icing of its thoughtfully baked cake. The side characters are fun and charming (Odessa A’zion as a spiritual yoga instructor is a special kind of highlight), Mizuno brings an infectious lively energy to the film, the score creates a pleasant rhythm and the dialog is playful. Dakota Johnson’s tattoos, which the directing duo makes no effort to cover up despite being out of place for Lucy’s character, constantly remind us of the film’s make-believe. But I was happy to play along, because the straightforwardness of the fantasy is so enticing, and protected safe spaces are a precious commodity nowadays.
The film is purposely stripped of most problems usually accompanying its set-up – there are (thank God) no homophobes, jealous exes or uninteresting B-plots to distract from the action. Lauren Pomerantz’s script even has the courtesy to arrange Lucy an equally hot and flirtatious co-worker, Brittany (Kiersey Clemons), at the luxurious (and blindingly white) spa she works at. Am I OK? is drenched in empathy for its characters at every turn, its simple and comfortable direction perfectly suited for its simplified and comforting story of friendship and self-discovery. There’s never any doubt as to the steps Lucy (and later also Jane, who’s very good at projecting her own expectations onto others) should take. Yet the film never criticizes either of the two for the time and support they need to follow through on them – it makes sure to meet its characters where they are.
This refusal to belittle its protagonists, however annoyingly childish or overly frightened they might be at times, gets at the heart of the film. Lucy is 32, and, while at a sleepover with Jane, admits she’s scared that she’s too late to discover her true self, to “figure herself out.” Johnson does great at playing someone too afraid to act on her emotions and desires, burying them instead so deep in self-doubt until she can ignore them entirely. Lucy never seems quite present, it’s only when she breaks down crying that her emotions aren’t hampered by the mental cocoon she’s built.
But Am I OK? refuses to have a downer ending, or even a downer stretch you aren’t sure will be resolved by the final act. It’s a film like a hug from a friend – you know it won’t help you solve any problems, but for a moment, it feels like it does. So even though there’s little build-up for its cathartic ending, and its message, that there’s no age limit for reinventing yourself, conveniently foregoes most real-life hurdles with coming out later in life, you still catch yourself smiling.